The Burger Connoisseur

I have a friend who likes to indulge in the “finer things” in life. He has a very successful business, works relentlessly, and deserves everything that comes his way. When he isn’t working, he’s thinking about working. But when he isn’t thinking about working, he’s thinking about eating. And when he’s not thinking about eating, he’s actually eating!

I’ll call him “Ben”.

Ben is a self-proclaimed “foodie”. You know. That self-appointed euphemism that people assign themselves because they’re addicted to fatty and/or sweet foods. When you call yourself a foodie, there’s almost a responsibility to try new foods and often. Some think that the foodie designation gives them carte blanche to become nutritionally senseless. A foodie is a hobbyist that tries different foods and drinks at various restaurants (or food trucks these days). As such, there can be different sects of foodies whereby they become specialists.

• food truck foodie
• dive restaurant foodie
• downtown LA restaurant foodie
• cheese foodie
• cupcake foodie, etc.

Nothing wrong with trying all types of food, as long as you’re not overfat. Ben is overfat. Not marginally, but resolutely. I calculated his waist to hip ratio. Oy! Not good. It was well above the .95 cutoff for a healthy male.

“Why is that such a big deal?” you may ask.

Mayo Clinic’s Position:

Why is belly fat a concern for men?

Heart Disease, stroke, some types of cancer, Type 2 diabetes, Low HDL, Metabolic Syndrome

National Institutes of Health Position:

Women who carry excess fat around their waists were at greater risk of dying early from cancer or heart disease

I digress.

Ben’s latest endeavor as a foodie is to search Los Angeles for the best burger. Like some kind of angus aficionado in his highfalutin circle, he’s the go to guy for where to find the highest quality burgers. His knowledge of different burger joints is actually impressive but has given him an ego about it if you question his hegemony over the subject. You’d think he’d start a blog site about it. Wink.

Unfortunately, his body doesn’t share the same discernment over his rich food choices. His latest love affair is with a kobe beef burger in Venice California. His description of the burger is eight ounces of kobe beef, applewood smoked bacon, and imported swiss cheese on a brioche bun. This sounds like a very high quality burger, even to this vegan. But, according to MyFitnessPal.com, a PLAIN 8-oz. Kobe beef burger has 660 calories per serving, and a preposterous 56 g of fat. That’s with no applewood smoked bacon and no imported swiss cheese.

Now let’s compare that to another food choice that isn’t as “high-quality” as Ben’s Kobe Beef Burger. How about the steak and fried egg biscuit from Biscuitville. I chose this item solely because the name of the restaurant is Biscuitville! Surely there aren’t any of these chains in West Hollywood or the Palisades. The steak and fried egg biscuit has 600 calories per serving and 37.5 grams of fat.

As grotesque sounding as this sandwich is, it has less calories and 20 grams less fat than the genteel kobe beef burger. So what’s the point?

Don’t delude yourself into thinking that choosing good eats equates to a good lifestyle. Eating a high fat, high calorie entree from the latest celebrity chef essentially has the same effect on your belly and butt as eating tempura ding dongs from the Orange County Fair.