Opposing Forces (part 1) – The Black Widow

Opposing forces are goals that are in conflict with each other.

• Goal: I want to start saving more money
• Conflict: There’s a sale on Miu Miu handbags!
• Goal: I want to de-clutter my house
• Conflict: I’m too exhausted after work to even do the dishes. How am going to de-clutter?
• Goal: I want to get trim and healthy in 2011
• Conflict: I have a lunch meeting at STK in Beverly Hills. They’re paying for it so why not?!

A male black widow spider approaching a female spider is very telling. The female is four times the size of the male so he treads carefully. The male will get close to the female but will stop, knowing there might be repercussions. As the female walks toward him, he will back away. When she stops, he’ll approach again. Back and forth they go. These are two opponent neural circuits of the male at work.

The male is driven by two opposing forces, pain avoidance and pleasure seeking. Survival versus reproduction. Eventually the male gives in and mates. Sometimes, as they often do, the female will end up eating the male after mating. Pain Avoidance, FAIL.

This is the same thing when you have someone wants to lose weight but is lured by high caloric density foods. This is survival instincts versus reproductive presentation. Two goals are at war with each other, and they are not compatible.

Part 2 to follow….